Let’s face it, lying seems to be a part of human nature – we’ve all done it at some point, and we’ve all been on the receiving end of a lie. But trying to figure out when someone is lying directly to you can be surprisingly difficult! The good news is, there are subtle signals and body language cues you can learn to watch for when you’re trying to spot deception. Here are twelve factors that can help reveal the truth, even when dealing with people who lie regularly!
#1 Notice Long Pauses Between Sentences
Sometimes, people who are lying might hesitate more than they normally would during a conversation. A pause that happens right after they finish a sentence could be a sign that the person is quickly trying to figure out the best way to deliver the next part of their lie. These pauses are a particularly strong warning sign if the person you’re talking to is usually a very smooth and fluent speaker. If someone who normally talks without much hesitation suddenly seems to need extra time to think before they speak, there’s a good chance they’re busy making up or constructing their story. Since lies don’t flow as easily as the truth does, those pauses come in handy – they buy a moment for the liar to figure out what comes next in their fabricated account.
#2 Listen for Shifts in Voice Tone and Speed
Changes in how someone’s voice sounds can sometimes give away a lie even before the words do! When a person isn’t being truthful, their voice might get higher in pitch, perhaps because their vocal cords are tightening up from tension. How fast they’re speaking can also be a clue. If you notice someone suddenly talking really quickly, like they hit a fast-forward button, it could be a sign they subconsciously just want to get the lie out as fast as possible. On the other hand, someone whose speech becomes unusually slow and deliberate might also be struggling. Talking slower can indicate their brain is working hard to piece together a believable story, especially if the lie is complicated, almost like their brain is moving in slow motion to create a coherent lie.
#3 Watch Their Eye Contact
Contrary to what many people think, liars don’t always avoid eye contact. In fact, sometimes they might actually maintain eye contact for longer periods than someone who’s telling the truth! Because liars know that people expect them to look away when they lie, they might sometimes try to overcompensate by locking eyes with you for an unnecessarily long time to seem convincing. In typical everyday conversations, people usually make eye contact in shorter bursts, maybe for about three to five seconds at a time. If you notice someone holding your gaze for much longer than that, it could potentially be a red flag. It’s either a sign they’re incredibly interested… or they might not be telling you the whole truth!
#4 Notice Changes in Breathing
How someone is breathing can also give you a clue that they might not be telling the truth. You might notice their breathing speed up or slow down unexpectedly. Sometimes, you might see deeper breaths, which can suggest that their brain activity has increased, and increased brain activity is often linked with the mental effort involved in lying. Just like how being mindful teaches us to pay attention to our own breathing, it can be helpful to pay attention to the breathing patterns of others when you’re trying to gauge their honesty.
#5 Watch for Unusual Sweating
Sweating is often a symptom of anxiety, and anxiety can definitely pop up when someone is lying. You might notice some liars visibly breaking out in a cold sweat while they’re telling their story. If the person you’re talking to doesn’t usually sweat much, or if you know they tend to sweat specifically when they’re being dishonest, then beads of sweat on their forehead could be a potential warning sign. However, it’s really important not to jump to conclusions based only on whether someone is sweating a lot. They might just be hot, or they could have a medical reason for it. Use this as one possible clue among others.
#6 Spot a Fake Smile
We’ve all probably been in situations where we’ve had to pretend to be happy to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. And yes, smiles can definitely be misleading – they might make someone look happy, but that happiness could actually be a lie. There’s a subtle but important difference between a real, honest smile and one that’s faked. A genuine smile involves both the mouth and the muscles around the eyes (often creating little crinkles or “crow’s feet”). A fake smile, on the other hand, often only uses the lips. If someone’s smile doesn’t seem to reach or be reflected in their eyes, it’s probably not a truly genuine expression.
#7 Look for Mismatched Signals
Sometimes, what someone says doesn’t quite line up with what their body is doing, even when they’re not trying to deceive you. However, people who are lying will occasionally give themselves away by their behavior contradicting the story they’re telling. For example, someone might unconsciously shake their head “no” while they’re actually answering a question with a “yes.” Or, they might talk in a very light or casual tone about something that should clearly be upsetting or devastating. When someone’s words don’t match their gestures, or their tone of voice clashes with the subject, you can be pretty sure that either what they’re saying or how they’re acting isn’t truthful!
#8 Watch for Touching the Nose
We’re all familiar with the old story of Pinocchio’s nose growing with every lie! Interestingly, there’s a theory that when people lie, the pressure and stress can release certain chemicals, causing a slight swelling or tingling sensation in the nose. While you probably won’t be able to actually see any physical change, that internal tingling or itching feeling can make the person want to scratch it. As a result, they might subconsciously reach up and touch or rub their nose while they’re talking. So, a sudden or unusual amount of nose touching could potentially be a physical tell.
#9 Watch for Neck Touching or Collar Pulling
Touching the neck or pulling at a collar is often considered a classic sign that someone might be lying. The theory is that lying can create a tingling sensation in the sensitive skin of the face and neck, making the person want to touch the area. The stress of lying might also cause increased sweating around the neck, which is why you might see someone tugging at their collar. Another specific giveaway can be when someone scratches the side of their neck, just below the earlobe. This is often done with the index finger of their dominant hand. This particular gesture is often interpreted as a sign of the insecurity, doubt, or uncertainty that can run through someone’s mind when they’re not being completely truthful.
#10 Becoming Overly Defensive
When you present someone who’s lying with facts that challenge their story, they often become extremely defensive. They might refuse to answer your questions directly or even try to turn the tables and accuse you of lying or trying to trap them. If someone responds to your questions with phrases like “Why do you need to know that?” or “That’s not important right now,” it can be a sign that they’re feeling cornered and are using this defensive reaction as a way to push back or attack.
#11 Trying to Change the Subject
Even for someone who is used to lying and might appear calm on the outside, the act of lying often creates feelings of vulnerability and discomfort deep down. While they might look relaxed, inside, they could be panicking. One common way a liar tries to escape this uncomfortable feeling and the pressure of maintaining their story is by quickly trying to change the subject and jump to a different topic altogether. If the conversation suddenly swerves away from the area where you suspect dishonesty, it could be a sign the other person is trying to get away from the lie.
#12 Watch for Covering the Mouth
Covering the mouth with a hand or even just placing a finger over the lips (like making a “shush” gesture) can be a subconscious reaction. It can literally mean the person is trying to hold back or suppress the words that are coming out, perhaps because they are deceitful. While we might link this gesture to childhood reminders to be quiet, in adults, it can sometimes indicate an attempt to withhold feelings or words that aren’t truthful.
Now you have a better understanding of some of the signs that might indicate someone isn’t being completely honest with you. As you interact with people, try practicing observing these signals – becoming more aware can make it less likely that you’ll be easily fooled by a lie, no matter how sincere the person seems. However, it’s really important not to automatically assume someone is lying just because you see them exhibit one of these signs. These are simply potential indicators. But if you notice several of these signs appearing together consistently, that might be a good time to consider verifying the person’s statements or being more cautious about the information they’re giving you.
